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42 To 45 Months - Your Child Can Make Choices

Your child is reaching an age at which learning to make choices are important. By providing him with opportunities to make choices and decisions, he may feel more in control. These are a few guidelines for you to consider when giving your child a choice:

STEP 1: Give Him A Choice Only When One's Available
Examples To Avoid Examples To Try
Do you want to come inside? (Is this really a choice?) It's time to come inside. Do you want to pick up your toys alone or do you want me to help?
Do you want to wear your coat? (Is this really a choice?) Do you want to play indoors or outdoors? If you play outside, you must wear your coat.  Do you want to wear the blue one or the green one?

STEP 2: Be Prepared to Honor His Decision
Examples To Avoid Examples To Try
Do you want milk for breakfast? (If he says no, you must honor his decision.) Do you want chocolate milk or white milk for breakfast?
Do you want to come inside for lunch? (If he says no, you must honor his decision.) It's time for lunch, come inside. Do you want to wash your hands by yourself or do you want me to help you?
STEP 3: Be consistent About Giving Choices
Examples To Avoid Examples To Try
  • Your child is not allowed to go outside without a coat. He broke the rule and you ignored it. He may expect to go outside without a coat again the next time.
  • The rule is: You must wear a coat when playing out doors. Do you want the blue one or the green one?
  • Do you want to put your coat on without my help or with my help?

Communication (speaking and listening) and consistency are the keys to success!!

When you set limits (rules), be consistent and always discuss what the consequences (what will happen) of breaking the rules will be ahead of time. Threatening your child, often invites him to repeat the forbidden act. It is better to help children understand the rules, put their wishes into words, and accept their feelings. Sometimes, you can partially fulfill their dreams or desires. Here is an example of this concept:

SITUATION:  It is raining outside. Your child wants to go outside to play.

Child: "I want to go outside and play."

Mother: "You wish you could go outside, but it is raining."

Child: "No, I want to go outside and play in the rain."

Mother: "When it stops raining, you may play outdoors. Until it stops, how would you like to fill containers up with water in the sink or bathtub?"

Note:The water containers can partially fulfill a desire to play in the rain (water) by providing a supervised activity with water. Also, you can give the child toys that will sink and float. Ask him to guess if the toy(s) will sink or float.

stethoscopeHEALTH HINTS:

Encourage your child to play outside some every day.  Bundle your child up in cold weather and let her experience the feel of cold air.

Things You Can Do Everyday To Help Your Child Grow

Teach your child about use of the phone. Have pretend conversations with him. Let him practice answering the phone and putting down the phone to go get you. Teach him to say "good-by" and hang up the phone with care.

Help your child get some exercise. Take her for a walk, get her a jump rope and let her begin to jump (Show her you can do it--she'll love it.); let her walk around the room to music - show her how to step in time to the beat.

Let your child help you sort clothes. Have him tell you why things go together.

Give your child specific jobs in the home that he can do. Tell him that you like the way he did what you asked.

Allow him to name items wherever you go and tell you about them. 

Continue to read to your child each day. Make it a special treat for each of you. Reading about the weather can be fun also.

Be sure to read some books that have words that rhyme (words that sound alike such as "bee" and "he"). Point out these words that sound alike and make up some of your own that end with the same sound.