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Having a Healthy Mental Holiday?

NASHVILLE –“‘Tis the season to be jolly!” Not necessarily. For too many people, this isn’t the happiest time of the year. According to a recent study by the National Mental Health Association, depression affects some 17.6 million Americans during the holidays. Pacific Health Laboratories says holiday blues strike 34 percent of men and 44 percent of women.

“There is a marked increase in the incidence of mental disorders during the holiday season,” said Tennessee Department of Mental Health and Developmental Disabilities (TDMHDD) Commissioner Virginia Trotter Betts. “The holidays can bring on a confusing array of emotions precipitated by any number of reasons. However, you don’t have to be helpless and act like a victim. There are many avenues for help, and several ways to make holiday stress more manageable.”

Unrealistic expectations, year-end reflection, finances, loneliness, grief and stress are just a few of many factors which can make December a daunting task for some. Then there’s the possibility that January melancholy may be from disappointments of the preceding months compounded by fatigue. If children are laughing and people passing but you’re not returning smile after smile, here are some tips on identifying holiday slumps and coping with them:

• Forget the fantasy! Recognize any of these images? Family or friends around a warm crackling fire or children anticipating the wonder of “The Night Before Christmas.” Be realistic and grateful for what you have. Don’t be so critical of yourself or others if things don’t go as planned. Set realistic goals, organize your time and pace yourself.
• Punt the past! Let go of the “good old days” and look to the future. That new football, Yankees baseball uniform, and G I Joe or Barbie were a long time ago. Life brings changes. Each holiday season is different and can be enjoyed in its own way.
• Penny-pincher! Make a budget and stick with it. Let go of buying big, expensive gifts. You’ll still be liked and, if you aren’t, punt that person!
• Lose the loneliness! Spend time with supportive, caring people. In addition to friends and family, contact local clubs, religious groups or community centers regarding activities including volunteering.
• Good grief! Joy and excitement for the holidays can enhance one’s feeling of loss and pain. Plan ahead for family gatherings. Is it more productive to follow old traditions or to do something totally different? Do something positive in memory of a lost loved one.
• Chill! Where your thoughts go is where your energy flows. Relax. Try meditation, exercise, eat correctly, avoid alcohol and get 7 to 8 hours of sleep. The shopping, parking, parties and houseguests won’t be forever.
• Scroogeless! Feelings follow attitude. Have a high sandbox factor – play well with others. Respect and validate others’ thoughts and feelings. Do something for someone else. It’s an old remedy, but it can help.
• Suit yourself! By the same token, in the midst of giving, be a little self-indulgent. Do something that makes you feel good like going to a movie, reading a book, taking a hot bath. Take some time out to care for and celebrate you.

The holiday season isn’t supposed to automatically banish reasons for feeling sad or lonely; there is room for these feelings to be present. Just remember Elvis doesn’t have a monopoly on a “Blue Christmas”, and it will all be over this time next month.

If you do need help, call Tennessee’s statewide crisis hotline at (800) 809-9957 or the Tennessee Department of Mental Health and Developmental Disabilities Office of Consumer Affairs crisis line at (800) 560-5767.